We had to sue the insurance company for not doing their job. What a racket that was. It dragged on for well over a year with endless continuances, denials, and IMEs (independent medical exams – which could be a whole story in itself). I still cannot talk about it without getting physically ill. The deceit, corporate greed, and disregard for human life is nothing less than staggering.

There are laws on the books in Michigan that require insurance companies to act in good faith and pay medical bills within 30 days once submitted, yet there are no meaningful laws to hold them accountable when they don’t. As a result, they get away with harm that in some cases, costs patients their lives because they lose access to much-needed care, as providers don’t want to wait to get paid. When I had to hire an attorney, picking one was difficult, and we didn’t know who we could trust. The whole process was a horrible, messy nightmare. I felt bullied, violated, and stripped of my dignity. It took an enormous emotional and financial toll on me and on my family, who were the ones providing all my care after every hospital stay and surgery. It was nothing short of medical and legal PTSD. To this day, the insurance company still owes $17,000 in unpaid claims that the providers rightfully deserve. I feel like we have been financially raped and spit on, and forced into a settlement that I was forced to agree with, in a time of clear desperation. This sickened me as it was a clear stripping of my personal values and permanently damaged me at some level.

By this point too, it was clear that I could not return to a traditional work environment. My recovery remained ongoing, but attempts at volunteer work were unsuccessful. I could not physically withstand the demands – the pain, fatigue, and physical and cognitive challenges were too great. I turned 45 that November, and while I reminded myself that any day above ground is a good day, my rose-colored glasses had been shattered by harsh life experiences.

Even volunteering at my kids’ schools became too overwhelming. The noise, the lights, the sheer energy of it all were too much, and I always felt relief when I could finally go home. Missing so many moments in my children’s lives left me deeply depressed. But I became determined to channel that energy into something positive, and something that could restore a sense of purpose and value to my life.

That’s when I took over the blog my mom had started and eventually created this website. Layer upon layer of stories began to unfold here, and through that process, I found my voice again. I needed a positive connection to my TBI, because for so long, I hated talking about it. I hated that this “thing” defined my life. Reframing it gave me strength, though, and the determination to push past my limitations.

Over time, I began speaking about it openly. I came to understand it better, and I am still learning to live with this “new normal.” That is the ultimate struggle and the ultimate goal…. to reclaim my independence, my freedom, my life.

My desire to share these experiences has been about more than my own recovery. It has been about raising awareness, offering encouragement, and making it easier for others with brain injuries or polytrauma to find resources. If sharing what I’ve endured and learned helps even one person feel less alone, then it makes all this writing worth continuing.

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