Jason Stockman – Survivor

Hello there. My name is Jason. I was in a motorcycle accident almost 7 years ago on 07/08/11. I was flown to Illinois from Indiana. I was placed in an induced coma for 2 months. I don’t remember the wreck or the following 2 months. I don’t believe I saw “a light” or any thing like that. Since then, I’ve had 2 more accidents that could have killed me (one where I was electrocuted and another from blunt trauma to my head).

I’ve had 2 witnessed seizures. I have 5 pieces of metal in my left elbow from the 1st accident, another in my left heel, and now 2 TBI’s (Traumatic Brain Injuries).

The arrest I speak about in my video testimony below, happened the day before Christmas.

Transcript of Video:

Well, this ain’t quite me as most of you know. I am not one for speaking in front of a crowd, and I’ve never actually spoke my testimony on any video; yes, I’ve typed it probably 300 times; but in the last couple of days I have been asked, not once, but probably five to ten times if I had put my testimony out…. Maybe on YouTube or whatever the case may be, and I’ve had to say “No”. Well here we go……

Back in July of 2011, I was me. I was normal, healthy, had a good job, beautiful wife,

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beautiful kid, big house, lots of toys, and I was also out running around with a bunch of idiots and drinking every night. Well, I was out by myself one night bouncing around the

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bars and, it happened to be July 8 of 2011 when I was on the way home from the bar. I don’t remember this night. The only reason I know this story is because somebody handwrote their testimony in the police report.

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I was on the way home from the bar on my very nice 1979 KZ 650 that I just spent a lot of time building, and a lot of money and a lot of time in.

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The guy that wrote his testimony claims he stopped dead in the middle of the road and his reasonings were rather stupid, because he didn’t like the sound of my bike. I went around him, rather than running in to the back of the truck. When I went around him he threw a Big Gulp cup of Mountain Dew at me; which he claims he did; but he also claims he did not hit me. I then laid the bike down. I thankfully don’t remember that night. I neither remember the following two months. They then flew me from Chesterton, Indiana to Naperville to Christ Advocate Hospital where I was induced into a coma for two months.

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After roughly a month my dad came up to visit me and had to ask the Doctor “what is wrong with his elbow?” I had lain there for over a month with a shattered left elbow – which they then cut me apart. I’ve got five pieces of metal in my left arm. I also have a piece of metal in my left heel and a left frontal lobe brain injury which I received from that accident. After being in a coma for two months they let me go home….. which, I basically begged them to go home. I did not want to be there.

When I got home, everything seemed okay. I felt very loved, by not only my wife, my daughter, my parents. I spent the following year with my dad working on a 1960 Mag and well, after a year, and being denied disability twice – I gave up; I thought I was okay and I went and found a second job. A job with Merritt Steel, which I basically felt I had to have being as I left Illinois with a $600,000.00 medical bill. I’ve worked construction my whole life. I never had a job with Merritt Steel. Well my new job with Merritt Steel…I started there loading the semis with a pay-loader or with a fork lift; which I was good at and I was enjoying my job. I was there roughly 6 months and well, I was told I was not going back to the loading department anymore when I came in one day. I felt like I was being fired but that wasn’t the case. They told me that I was going back to the cleaning department and I told them, “no I’m not a janitor”. They said no it’s not a janitorial job, it’s…your cleaning water, your cleaning presses, because when the water leaves that job…with that Mill it had to be a certain level because it had acid in it.

Well I was in that Department for a couple of weeks, maybe a month, and I learned how to do my job and I basically had a lot of sit time. Well I showed up 3-11 one night and I was asked to clean out a liquid holding tank, which had to be 40-50 foot around and another 30-40 foot tall – and it had two foot of liquid acid in it with a lot of sludge, and I was asked to clean it out on top of my normal duties – when I had time, because they were going to take the roof off the following morning and replace it. Well, when I showed up on that job, everything was running fine. I had nothing there to do, so when everybody left I jumped in that holding tank by myself. I was in there for roughly half an hour, and I had other things going through my head that I had to go check because time was going by and I had to make sure the presses were clean, and I had to make sure the tanks were full – so on and so forth. Well, on my way out through that manhole cover, the tripod with two halogen lights on it, that the day shift guy had put in there so that he could see what he was doing, fell over behind me into two foot of liquid acid that I was still standing in. I was on my belly halfway in and halfway out of the holding tank. When that light fell over I was then electrocuted for what seems like every bit of a half an hour. My right arm stuck straight out, and I am screaming, and nobody is there to help me. Well, by the grace of God it quit shocking me and I will never know how. I came out of that tank and I went to the front offices where I ran into one of the Main guys out there. He asked me how I was doing, he thought I was going to get a cup of coffee. Told him I was doing a lot better before I got electrocuted. He then said, “WHAT?” I took him back and showed him where I had been electrocuted and I didn’t blow a breaker. That electricity was still live. Like I said, I’ll never know how I got out of there. All but the grace of God let me go.

That following week later I was with my dad on a side job – one of his jobs, where I was carrying cabinets out of a store in a Mall. Well, that’s the last thing I remember is slinging a sledge hammer and the next thing I remember is laying in an ambulance with a girl standing over the top of me who said “My name is Amber, what’s my name?” I was kind of in shock. They then took me to the hospital and I went home within an hour.

Roughly a year and a half later, I would say December 2014 maybe January 2015, all within about two months, I was divorced. I was also on another job being as the Mill wouldn’t take me back as I had a seizure, and I went back to construction with a good friend of mine on one of his jobs. I wasn’t on the books, I was on my third day with him. They were handing me down a twenty-four foot aluminum plank from the garage roof, which in the past, I’ve had no problems with. Well, I’ve carried thirty-two foot planks – two man planks around, and it’s…it’s not a big deal. It’s something I have done for twenty plus years. This man’s planks were not only two man planks, but they were bigger; and my left arm doesn’t reach as far as it used to. I can’t turn my hand completely over and I can’t straighten my arm. That’s as far as I go. When that man on the roof let go of the plank behind me, I had the center of the plank, with my arms fully extended over my head. When he let go, I couldn’t hang on to it. It then came down and hit me on the right side of my head. I then, was on my third Neurologist in the area and when I went to see her I begged her for another walking EEG, because the first one didn’t show any fault in me; and I had just seen another Doctor who had asked me what the bump was on my forehead and I told him…”I’ve been asking probably three years…what is that? and nobody’s will me – YOU tell me.” He said it’s probably just a cyst, and he later took it off for me. He knocked me out and took the cyst off. When I came back to visit him a week later he then said, “Do you know that you have a skull fracture on the right side of your forehead right where that cyst was at?”. I said “No, that doesn’t make sense because my brain injury is on the left side.” He said, “It doesn’t matter, wherever your brain got hit, your brain could have bounced around in there, and you have a skull fracture on the right side”. I then later got my walking EEG and found out that, that plank did not only hit me pretty good, and gave me a seizure….it gave me a second frontal lobe brain injury on the right side; which I am told is more dominant than the one on the left.

Through all of this I spent a lot of times on my knees. Often as Job did, praying for death. From the beginning, when I first came out of the coma, after my first accident; I had two thoughts on my mind that I can remember. One…and the most memorable, was to get my daughter from Sunday School, which I thankfully did. The Sunday teacher came to me after a couple of weeks of being in church and told me that my daughter accepted Christ. I can only pray that she understood what she did. I did the same thing at a young age, and they baptized me, and I didn’t truly understand what they did. The bible says if you confess with your mouth and believe with your heart though shalt be saved.

I grew up in a Christian school. I never doubted that what I was taught was true. Two plus two is four…it’s just a fact; but I also believed with my head. I don’t believe that I ever believed with my heart, and there is a difference. My other thought that won’t leave me was to seek the Lord. Well, I did. I don’t know when, I don’t know where, I don’t know whose bible I had, but at some point shortly after I came out of a coma, I was given a scripture – Hebrews 12:6-9. I don’t have it in front of me, but it basically states that God will chastise the one’s he loves, and those who go without chastisement are bastards. Well, God chastised me, and for that I am thankful. I truly have a very strong understanding of “thy rod thy staff they comfort me”. I’m thankful God knocked me down and didn’t let me die; because theoretically going on the last six going on seven years, I should have died at least three times. Maybe four being my second seizure happened on a roof; and if I would have went down, it may have killed me.

I now live with a lot of pain. My brain injury is constant pain. I take Tramadol for the pain. Not as much as prescribed, but I still need it. Emotionally, I have been a mess for quite a few years – beings as everyone that I have ever loved….beings my friends….my now ex-wife….my parents…. have all left me for dead, and the only way I can see that is because I am no longer beneficial to any of them. My daughter probably hasn’t seen me in three years, and it’s been well over a year probably close to two since she’s answered a text from me.

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Due to my Depression and Anxiety, I was given psych pills. Up until a little over a month ago – for the last two years, I’ve not only been on Tramadol, but I was given Fioricet or Citrulline for my Depression and I was also given Klonopin for my Anxiety or for my seizures. Well, it took me roughly two years to actually do my own research and Google the side effects. Come to find out that the Klonopin and the Tramadol, prescribed to me by the same Doctor, when mixed together, will give you suicidal thoughts, which I’ve had many of. Thankfully, He that is in me is greater than He that is in the world, because there has been many nights many days that I was close enough to a pistol. I could’ve put it in my mouth and blown my head off, but I didn’t. I never picked a gun up….thankfully.

Honestly, I don’t know why I am here. I have consistently prayed for wisdom and knowledge because of the first brain injury. I mean, who wants to be an idiot for the rest of their life. After praying for that for a few years, and losing my wife, and losing my parents and not being able to see my daughter; I came across a Verse that says “….with wisdom and knowledge comes much stronger grief”…..and yes, that’s very true. At the same time, a fool despises wisdom and I am so thankful God has flooded me with Scripture; that I may have learned as a kid, I may have been made to memorize it, I may have heard it from the pulpit, I may have heard it in a Bible class – because I did grow up in a Baptist.actually a well-known Baptist School. I spent a good eight years there and I ran away at 15 because it is a very abusive school and my dad was also very abusive. I was getting spanked damn near daily and I had to come home with a piece of paper stating that I got spanked and my parents had to sign it, stating that they knew, and that made my dad look bad. He then would lay into me for an hour. Due to all this, I left home at 15. I couldn’t take it no more. I figured the only thing he could do to me that was worse than what he already did, was to kill me, so I thought. My mother hasn’t spoken to her mother but maybe a handful of times because Grandma let me move in. I don’t understand it. I probably never will.

In the last year or so, my parents actually put a restraining order on me, actually close to two years. While I was coming off the Klonopin I was having a hard time and I woke up and I felt that, that restraining order had to be at least three years old. Well, I sent my mother an email, they then had me arrested. I spent 24 hours in that jail cell with a $5,000.00 bond. I have no income, but I have a God who is stronger than anything you can put me in. I walked in to that courtroom in front of a judge on a TV screen. A well-known judge that everybody fears. When I walked in with a prayer that my Grandmother used to pray with me as a baby, which is a verse out of Psalms. It’s Psalms 19:14, run through my head “Let the words in my mouth and the meditation in my heart be acceptable to you Oh Lord, my strength, and my Redeemer” – and I prayed that prayer or that verse as I walked in front of the judge. My $5,000.00 bond then dropped from $5,000.00 to $800.00. I told that judge, “I can’t do that”. She looked at me and said, “You don’t have disability?” I said, “No ma’am”. She then dropped my bond from $800.00 to $0.00 and appointed me a judge (attorney). I have to go back February 13th to see the judge. I am praying that she will throw the case out of court because other than break the restraining order, I did nothing wrong.

I will never understand how my mother is still with my dad but that’s neither here nor there. He was right, when he told me “they don’t make them like your mother no more” because I don’t believe they do. She’s put up with more stuff than anybody I know would ever; my wife wouldn’t have done it; most people I know wouldn’t have done it. I give her credit there. At the same time, she’s a lot smarter than us. She shouldn’t have to put up with that.

The year that I spent with him after my first injury, I was starting to have problems with my wife. I was out in the garage with him. He looked at me and said, “I hope you don’t end up doing what I did and throwing her down the stairs like I did your mother.” I’m sorry, but that don’t sit right with me. If I’d had seen him do it…..Yeah as a kid I was scared of him. I’m not now. I don’t fear death anymore. I often welcome it.

When God wants to take me, will….because I can’t do it on my own. I won’t do it on my own! I will be right here until God takes my last breath. Looks like it’s time for me to go. I believe I am done. God bless you all. I am out.

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#IAmInvisibleNoMore

As of July 2018, I am almost 43 and I’m still fighting for disability. I am dealing with depression , anxiety, PTSD, dementia,  arthritis, and epilepsy.  I am on Klonopin and Amitriptyline. I just got my first pair of glasses and a cane due to me falling down, dizziness, and chronic pain. Sunlight still hurts me and I struggle every day.

Through it all, I drew close to Jesus. I’ve got nothing else. I have put down the bottle, picked up my Bible, and I wont let go.