When we hear traumatic brain injury, we often think of a trauma from say….a vehicle accident, or sports, or falls.
It’s time to continue bringing awareness to this silent epidemic…Domestic Violence.
*Polytrauma and Traumatic Brain Injuries are common with Domestic Violence
* Women experience about 4.8 million intimate partner-related physical assaults and rapes every year.
*Less than 20 percent of battered women sought medical treatment following an injury. A significant number of crimes are never even reported for reasons that include the victim’s feeling that nothing can/will be done and the personal nature of the incident.
*The cost of experiencing Domestic Violence includes medical care, mental health services, and lost productivity
*Domestic Violence affecting LGBT individuals continues to be grossly underreported; it is as much as a problem within LGBT communities as it is among heterosexual ones.
Domestic violence, also known as intimate partner violence, is a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner. Domestic violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic, or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person
Research on abused women shows that between 40 to 92 percent of victims of domestic violence suffer physical injuries to the head; nearly half of these women report that they have experienced strangulation, according to research published in October 2017 in the Journal of Women’s Health.
DID YOU KNOW?
More than 40 per cent of victims of domestic violence are male.
40% of those reporting serious assaults by current or former partners in the past year were men, and most of their attackers were women.
80 per cent increase in reports from male victims between 2012 and 2016.
Women are as likely as men to be agressors.
Men also make up about 30% of intimate homicide victims, not counting confirmed cases of female self-defense.
Female-on-male violence is often assumed to be harmless, given sex differences in size and strength. Yet women may use weapons — including knives, glass, boiling water and various household objects — while men may be held back from defending themselves by cultural taboos against harming woman
Domestic violence against men can take many forms, including emotional, sexual and physical abuse and threats of abuse. It can happen in heterosexual or same-sex relationships.
Abusive relationships always involve an imbalance of power and control. An abuser uses intimidating, hurtful words and behaviors to control his or her partner.
Men who find themselves as victims of domestic violence are often viewed by and made to feel emasculated and weak. We are told to fight back and ridiculed for “accepting” or “allowing” the abuse. Many people don’t know how to approach the conversation for fear of adding insult to literal injury, or because they simply don’t believe a man can be a victim of domestic violence.
Men are expected to be violent and in control, particularly in control of women, while supressing their emotions and sucking it up whenever life doesn’t go their way. When a man steps outside of this box, he is often ridiculed as weak or as not being a “real” man.
This toxic view of masculinity often leads men to become perpetrators of domestic violence, but when they’re victims, it can prevent them from coming forward. The stigma, and the fear of not being believed, can be so strong that men simply don’t report the abuse.
Abused men have faced widespread biases from police, judges and social workers. Equality should include recognizing women’s potential for abusive behavior.
Claims on both sides should be fairly investigated — without political bias, sexist bias, or cultural bias.
Domestic violence service providers. Screen everyone who seeks DV services for TBI. A brief screening tool that was designed to be used by professionals who are not TBI experts is the HELPS.2
HELPS is an acronym for the most important questions to ask:
H = Were you hit in the head?
E = Did you seek emergency room treatment?
L = Did you lose consciousness? (Not everyone who suffers a TBI loses consciousness.)
P = Are you having problems with concentration and memory?
S = Did you experience sickness or other physical problems following the injury?
If you suspect a victim has a brain injury, or she answers “yes” to any of these questions, help her get an evaluation by a medical or neuropsychological professional – especially if she has suffered repeated brain injuries, which may decrease her ability to recover and increase her/his risk of death.
Hello there. Thank you for your interest and considering our sitewww.hopetbi.comto share your story. I would be honored to tell your story as you wish to share it. We are glad to correct spelling so don’t worry about that.
I want you to be able to tell your story your way. Some things to include in your story that people often have questions about, are listed in the questions below….
Please feel free to add more than the questions listed. This is just a helpful starting point for a Caregiver story:
What happened to cause you to become a Caregiver for Polytrauma or TBI?
What injuries did they sustain?
When did this occur (Date or Season and Year, or)
How old were you when you became a Caregiver?
How old is the person who acquired the TBI or Trauma? How many concussions or TBI’s have they had? How old are they now?
How Long was their recovery? If still recovering what are you involved in helping them with, regarding care?
Can you identify what your biggest struggles are or have been over the weeks/months/years as a Caregiver?
What things do you do for self-care (to cope, take breaks, stay refreshed)?
Were you financially prepared to take on being a Caregiver?
Did you have any special training for the injuries of the person you are/were a Caregiver for?
How has being a Caregiver affected your physical and mental health?
Have you had the social support and resources you needed to provide the care needed?
How has being a Caregiver impacted your relationship with that person since their injuries?
Where do you go to connect to other Caregivers like yourself?
What are some of your hope and fears regarding this whole journey as a Caregiver?
Where do you live now (State, Country)?
What do you want other people to know about your experiences?
Why did you choose to tell your story?
What name do you want represented online (first and last please)
Do you have any pictures you want to submit of the before, during, or after? (accident, hospital stay, incident, etc?)
Ways to submit your story:
Writing it and submitting a saved PDF version of your story,
Videotaping yourself telling your story and then we can type it up; or submitting a voice recording telling your story; and please consider submitting pictures to validate your story and make it more personal to others
Who can submit a story? Survivor, Healthcare Provider, Caregiver, Family relative, friend, etc.
Can a story be submitted for someone who has died? Yes, if their story involved sustaining a Traumatic Brain Injury or bodily trauma, and their death was a result of bodily trauma and or Traumatic Brain Injury/Acquired Brain Injury. Please message if you have any questions. You can be the voice of their story if you knew them personally.
Also for you to know…I am not representing any business and there is no compensation for sharing your story. I am a Survivor and saw a need I wanted to help with as much as possible. We post stories on our site to give people a voice to tell their story and a place where others can read it.
E-publish simply means (for our purposes) to post on our site.
Believe your body. Trust your body. If something feels “off” then check it out. Be bold. Be brave. Keep striving to find answers to help you live YOUR best life.
Forget the naysayers, those who do not support your personal growth, and those who seek to bring you down.
You do not need to live the life others think you should be living; not the life others want you to live; not the life that cannot be reclaimed in the way you lived it before; not that familiar life from the past that you grieve being lost
This is YOUR life….your NEW NORMAL. Own it. Embrace it. Learn from it. Thrive in it!!!
I spent the whole week anticipating when January 4, 2018 would arrive.
I was awake past midnight drinking in the fact it was finally here. I eventually went to bed confident I would wake up again in a few hours. I did wonder if I would feel differently.
It has been 4 years since the wreck happened as of Thursday January 4th, 2018. It has been hard to separate my life from that one catastrophic event and the events that took place around that time. It’s like my body’s cells hold the memories my mind cannot seem to bring to fruition in their entirety….even now.
All day my body ached, spasmed, and refused to cooperate with me. All day, with each deep breath and slow measured movement I was reminded that even though it was four years ago and a different time entirely – the pain goes on.
All day with each deep breath I was grateful. To be able just to breathe and be aware of what was around me seems like such a precious gift. To be able to hear the kids waking me up and to hug them and touch their beautiful faces was such a simple pleasure I lost for a while back then. To walk (albeit slow, painfully, and guarded) around and touch a door, a counter, the wall, a picture, and descend the 13 stairs that always feel like an accomplishment to tackle…going up or down – was a gift I remain grateful for still.
I have a life. No, it’s not my old life. It’s not a life without daily physical pain. It’s not a life without struggles on many unseen levels. Hell, it’s not even the life I wanted, dreamed of, or imagined for myself at this age. It is starkly different. However, it is still valuable. In many ways, even with all the seeming uncertainty my life still matters and I love my life even more.
The value of having love from a person who truly believes you and believes IN YOU cannot be overstated. That love pulled me through dark pain, dark thoughts, and from the other side where HOPE dies, Faith falters, and the darkness of depression laps up the drips of ongoing pain and overwhelming fatigue. Love, patience, acceptance, tolerance, validation, and empathy. I am blessed with these every day from my husband, my mom, my kids, my brother, and most of my providers.
I am stuck. Stuck between true determination, progress, and fortitude and a stagnant knowing acceptance of this pain going on for eternity. Stuck from moving forward as each step forward drags me backwards towards the abyss a little more each time. Stuck being a hypocrite of sorts because I work to find value in the pain and limitations of these disabilities. Even though I find myself begging for relief from my Creator as some days it is too much to bear. Stuck with wanting to work and bring awareness to Polytrauma and Traumatic Brain Injury ….all while having the consistent lack of cooperation from my body, mind, and utter lack of motivation.
I feel relieved for meeting people, groups, and providers who truly value life as I now know it and help me stay on track.
I feel like I should be saying something wise, positive, and upifting today to all of you reading this. Yet I have nothing else but that which I already continue to give. My transparent self.
So much swimming in my head today. So much healing validation. So much continued angst and so much continued life force to pay forward.
Let us remember the 4th Anniversary of my survival, my youngest son’s survival (and that of Greta the other driver). Let us remember that this was the day Caren died four years ago and was brought back; to show that HOPE lives and all things are possible as long as we dont get tunnel vision. With a little Faith and a whole lot of self-determination I embrace the desire to SURVIVE!!!
To all you other warriors out there standing up to your own dark sides and embracing the changes that continue to engulf you…or to those who are helping them face their daily battles….thank you. May you know peace, may you know relief, may my strength be the light saber that helps you find your own independent path as well.
At the end of the day, do your best. Make every effort count and never ever give up HOPE. May the 4th be with you!!!