Faith

The 11th Hour

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Today marks a milestone in the life of myself and my family. Today is the 11th-year survivor-versary of the wreck that, in part, changed the course of all of our lives.

While it remains factual that it was myself and our youngest son involved in the actual wreck itself all those years ago, the family as a whole would become and remain affected as a result of its aftermath – for years to come.  The rehabilitation journey has not been for the faint of heart and continues…albeit in different ways now than when it all began.

There have been many things involved that have gotten me to this point in my life – which I guess I would call the “survivors plateau”. Many things that cause me to reflect a bit deeper each year at this time.

On the positive (effective) side, I could speak about the great care of many healthcare professionals; the unwavering support, love, struggles, and sacrifice of time and energy of my family; how clinging on to HOPE, my deep-seated faith, and a healthy dose of daily gratitude has helped us traverse this seemingly insurmountable experience. I could speak to many details, many therapies, many opportunities for growth, successes, and immense blessings that have come into our lives….with and without concentrated and unbridled effort and determination.

On the negative (noneffective) side, I could speak about the chronic physical and emotional pain that still riddles my body and our lives in various ways; I could speak of the continual setbacks and disappointment…and the deep and very personal losses that no one ever sees – that continue to wreak havoc at many levels – levels that force me into a daily field of emotional landmines that seek to obliterate all that I continue to accomplish and overcome. I could speak of the financial toll it has taken and continues to take from our family and my body;

However, what I want to focus on in this writing is not far from either of these things, but a valuable idiom that has been the consistent and steady foundation of all of these things over time.

What I want to write about today, is a lesson that we could all come to appreciate and give an open arms welcome to…..and that is the gift of the things that happen, come to us, appear, or work out at the last minute, sometimes in ways we never saw coming, sometimes as a result of seriously difficult and seemingly hopeless moments – a glimmer of light, a breath of air, right when we need it and often in unexpected ways.  I want to write about the good dose of courage required to face a world without this relief, and the sheer awe created as it rises up to present us with a much-needed outcome in the 11th hour of our stripped-out moments.

Some may be wondering what I mean when I reference this verbiage “the 11th hour”.  Let me take a moment to reflect on some various views of this, and how it can be used in various contexts…….

The phrase “at the 11th hour” is an idiomatic expression (cannot be understood according to its literal meaning)  or allusion (subtle way to mention something familiar) that means at the last possible moment or just before a deadline. It suggests that something is happening or being done in the final moments before a crucial event or situation. (3). In a broader sense, “at the 11th hour” can refer to any situation where action or intervention takes place when time is running out or when it seems almost too late to achieve a desired outcome. It implies a sense of urgency and often conveys the idea that there was little time to spare or that the situation was in a critical state before the last-minute action was taken.(4)

The 11th hour means the latest possible time before it is too late. It is a phrase that means “at the last moment”. It is taken from the Bible passage in Matthew 20 verses 1 – 16 where Jesus taught the Parable of Workers in the Vineyard. The eleventh hour miracle is a miracle you get when it looks like time is running out on you. (1)

Perhaps the most celebrated “eleventh hour” was 11 a.m. on November 11, 1918, the “eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month” — “Armistice Day,” which brought an end to World War I.(2)

Note that the Roman time system referred to twelve ‘hours’ from sunrise to sunset (and twelve hours of the night from sunset to sunrise). So the eleventh hour was by definition the period just before the end (of the day). ~Tim Symington (ironically posted in 2014 – 11 years ago)

Ultimately, the phrase “in the 11th hour” has multiple spiritual meanings as well. Being a person who clings to their personal faith as a way-shower…I share these things as specific examples:

  • Refusing to give up – this supports that idea of not giving up too soon, not giving up the effort, or the attempt, even if things are going, or appear to be going, badly.  This is often the time when everything points to needing to give up, and then a solution or miracle comes.
  • God’s Timing – the idea that God will intervene at the last minute, even when things seem hopeless.
  • Claim Opportunities – this relies on the actual effort and choice to take the opportunities, or use the resources given to us
  • Delayed Blessings – this is reflected by the ripple affect of blessings coming to us in various forms long after the time we would have experienced them in a traditional time continuum.

Today, as I write this. I am reminded of how, in the 11th hours of many days…. I have been lifted and plucked from the bowels of depression, exhaustion, and at times a concentrated form of aloofness, or lack of desire to go on.

As I write this, I am honored to share my progress with all of you as a testament of the fruition and reward of hard work, resilience, and sheer grit.  I have been managing and expanding on the services I provide in my business; am in school still and working towards a Higher Education Degree to represent my new life. I am making great strides to return to a modicum level of activity and vocational satisfaction in the form of a successful reckoning and comeback tour. I continue each day to show up for my life.  I volunteer, advocate, and continue to give back as I am able. Life is hard.  Life is a bitch.  Life is tough……but my goodness is it also rewarding.

Here I am in all my unique complexities in this 11th year of my rehab journey and literal reinvention of my life.

Today is not without its challenges, failures, learned mistakes, or hard lessons that this process continues to shed light on.  Today though, in the 11th hour of this Anniversary, I also celebrate a life I have grown to be proud of.   A life shed of toxic people from my inner circle.  A life that keeps giving me unexpected and sometimes delayed blessings. A life that keeps giving me miracles with each breath I have been allowed to experience each and every day. A life that has given me a life partner/husband/friend who inspires, supports, and loves me with selfless representation. A life that continues to allow me to witness the love through others (specifically those close to me, but through humanity in its finest glory too). A life that injects an ever-present presence of deep dramatic chasms and last-minute solutions that continue to shape the tapestry in the valleys of my world.

Today I face a turning point, a choice; an opportunity in the 11th hour of this day….. to define my next steps and wear my confidence like a cloak of joy, exalted, as I pay it forward to the next generation.

It takes a healthy dose of humor and unyielding humility to reach the 11th hour. A place when all may, at times, seem lost; when the precipice, or teetering of survival and destruction (or light vs darkness), vie for the same spotlight and seeks to own the moment – whatever that moment may be.

It takes determination to reach the 11th hour. A place that lays naked…. and bares all the beliefs, values, and character of the individual thrust into its path.

It takes realization to TRUST in the 11th hour; to trust that life goes on and will continue to evolve with or without our decree, consent, or approval. 

The 11th hour carries the rescuing we all need at times and then sheds the stress, strife and hopelessness from our midst repeatedly; a place where all things come full circle.

11 years later….we remember the 11th hour….. 

Giving and taking in equal measure.

(1) (2) (3) (4)

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Hope Faith Miracle

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What is the correlation between faith and hope, and what exactly is a miracle as it relates to hope and faith?

Compiled By: Caren Robinson

”The whole world is a series of miracles, but we’re so used to them we call them ordinary things”

~ Hans Christian Andersen

My current connection to this topic is originated from being raised in a faith based home; exploring/educating myself about multiple religions over the course of my life, and life experiences that have shaped my view on each of these concepts.

I already know this is a controversial topic because there are so many beliefs, strong opinions, and non-believers, that I risk alienating someone with my writing, or not connecting with my audience. This was also spurred by the experiences I have had since recovering from a catastrophic car wreck with my youngest son and a series of traumatic life events. This near death experience forced me to face everything I knew to be true and examine that which I didn’t know or understand as well. It conjured up pieces of complex opportunities that I would not have been given were I not to live through these experiences.

I know that this piece will challenge perceptions, and ideally I will be able to present it in a way that is palatable and provokes thought.

What also draws me to this topic is the state of our Country; the global strife; the battle between being spiritual vs religious, vs science focused, vs a balance with some or all of those pieces; and my interpretation of the research done on these concepts and what that looks like. What draws me to this also involves what I have witnessed happen through different life experiences and unexplained events.

When beginning to explore this topic I had to ask myself in a really direct manner – how can I make this unique, novel, personal, and not rehash what has already been said or spoken numerous times before but just in different formats?

I went on a hunt to be able to at first define what faith, hope and a miracle was. Then I began to really immerse myself into how they correlated. Anyone seeking to cope, anyone that believes in a power greater than themselves would benefit from this writing. Anyone, whether they were religious or not, whether they subscribed to a certain belief system or they didn’t – any of them would benefit and get valuable information from this writing. That was the goal and remains the goal throughout this blog entry.

So we begin with the dictionary definition of faith. We can find this in a number of dictionaries and while the definitions are similar, there is a lot of overlap. For this particular blog post though, I chose to utilize the Miriam-Webster dictionary.

Miriam-Webster dictionary defines “faith” as:

  1. a: allegiance to duty or a person; loyalty b: fidelity to one’s promises
  • a: belief and trust in and loyalty to God; belief in the traditional doctrines of religion

b: firm belief in something for which there is no proof; complete trust; believe without question

  • a: something that is believed especially with strong conviction especially: a system of religious beliefs

Miriam-Webster dictionary defines “hope” as:

  1. to cherish a desire with anticipation: to want something to happen or be true
  • trust; reliance
  • to desire with expectation of obtainment or fulfillment; expectation of fulfillment or success
  • to expect with confidence; someone or something on which hopes are centered

Miriam- Webster dictionary defines “miracle” as:

  1. a: an extraordinary event manifesting divine intervention in human affairs
  • an extremely outstanding or unusual event, thing, or accomplishment
  • a divinely natural phenomenon experienced humanly as the fulfillment of spiritual law

I would identify myself as more of a spiritual person at this point in my life, rather than a religious person. Yet what does that really even mean? You may have heard a lot of folks now-a-days describe themselves that way. There is an even growing number of individuals who are breaking from the confines and walls of organized religion, or don’t even subscribe to any particular belief system who may still describe themselves as spiritual. Then again, you have that subset of individuals still who do not consider themselves religious or spiritual and yet still have faith, hope, and believe in miracles.

The majority of our society uses the words “religion” and “spirituality” interchangeably with the idea that they are the same things. However they are very different and have very different concepts.

“Religion is the rules, regulation, ceremonies, and rituals developed by man to create conformity and uniformity in the approach to God. Spirituality is God’s call in your soul.”

~ lyanla Vanzant

Religion is more external from ourselves and encompasses more of that institutional type of belief process. This is something that often involves a specific building with a structured belief system that contains members, converts, or pledges who practice certain rituals, beliefs, or practices. The fear of punishment for one’s actions is often a principle factor in religion. Religion simply involves a group of people who have common beliefs and faith about the divine. It is about adherence to rules, laws, and specific actions. Religion often discourages people from listening to their own instincts. In fact, most religions instruct and teach their “believers” to accept and do what they’re told, without questioning it; forcing them to stay fixed to a specific text, the scriptures, or whatever specific ideology they are being taught by their religious leaders.

Spirituality is really more internal and self-directed energy and essence that is more about one’s inner-self, soul, and personal development. A solitary experience of the divine that focuses on the individual experience, encourages the focus on individual energy, positive mindsets, and acts based solely on love; the ability to combine truths from various belief systems and apply those beliefs to their lives. Being spiritual entails maintaining one or more beliefs, adapting those beliefs based on personal study, self- reflections, interpretation, and the ability to connect with something greater than ourselves. Spirituality is very personal, and unique. It may involve some very sacred traditions, or practices; and yet, may be reflected in something as abstract as art, or our connection to nature or music. Spirituality encourages folks to do what they feel is right, despite the consequences.

Neither of these is better than the other and is truly a matter of personal preference – though there are plenty of people ready to fall on their sword defending one over the other, but that is not what we are here to discuss or argue in this blog post.

“Miracles are not in contradiction to nature.

They are only in contradiction with what we know of nature.”

~Saint Augustine

People that have hope, have faith. Seemingly, a person cannot have one without the other. Yet what is the correlation between them? There are many that would say that:

  • they have faith because they need hope
  • people have hope because they need faith
  • people have hope because they have faith
  • they have faith because they have hope

After all, “faith” expresses confidence in the truth, value, or veracity of someone or something and is often characterized by the absence of empirical proof that is not necessarily verifiable. Faith represents a belief that actually exists.

“Faith, in slogan form, is resilient reliance, by which we mean a disposition to rely with resilience in the face of challenges”

~Daniel Howard-Snyder

Then we have “hope”. Hope is directed to what will come, what is possible, toward the future…..of what may come. This may also be viewed as an anticipated fulfillment of a particular intention or focus.

According to Shannon Kincaid, Ph.D. and Philip Pecorino, Ph.D. from Queensborough Community College of The City University of New York – they state in one of their research papers that “…..one does not have to be an incurable optimist to claim that faith is a sufficient and necessary condition of hope. When people have hope they have faith, because they hold a belief that says “I believe that the future will be better.” And while they have no grounds to “prove” the hopeful assumption, they have faith in it. While faith without hope is possible, hope without faith is not. Thus faith is not sufficient for hope. Faith is necessary for hope but faith is NOT SUFFICIENT for hope because you can have faith about a number of things and yet no real hope. “

Then that brings us to miracles. Why do the vast majority of people not believe in miracles? This is possibly the direct result of living in a technologically science-driven and informational era where people are constantly demanding “proof” of everything and often, there is no “proof” of any miracles. No one has ever recorded, on camera, with no cuts or special effects, a leper being healed, a blind man being given vision, or anything even close, outside of medical advancement and treatment options.

Additionally, a lot of folks find it difficult to embrace or believe in something they cannot explain or cannot see. This is also why there is a falling away from organized religion to some degree because there is, to some individuals, no convincing evidence that God exists and if God doesn’t exist then surely miracles cannot exist. Yet, miracles, to me, are not a God-principle. Miracles are simply an unexplained event which absolutely defies, nature, physics, or any logical explanation. Then again, you can believe in supernatural events and not believe in God. Some would argue even that miracles are the result of confirmation bias, or coincidence, and impossible when it comes to the laws of Science and physics and often dismissed as falsities with those things that cannot be explained through a scientific process. The eighteenth-century Scottish skeptic philosopher David Hume argued, “the wise man should not believe in miracles”. The basis for his assertion was what might be called the “repeatability principle”— evidence for what occurs over and over (the regular) always outweighs evidence for that which does not (the rare). Since miracles are rare and contradict our uniform experience, Hume argues the wise man ought never to believe in miracles. While it’s true that a wise man should base his belief on the weight of evidence, it’s not true that evidence for uniform experience always outweighs evidence for what is singular and rare. Hume’s principle nullifies science itself. As an inductive discipline, science necessarily presupposes the possibility of discovering new things that may contradict uniform experience. It views rarity as that which disqualifies rational belief, yet rarity is of the essence of a miracle. Sure, it could easily be said that we need to exercise a heightened sense of awareness and sincere caution when confronted with accounts of the miraculous, however we should also be apt to following the evidence where it leads, even if we cannot explain it, no matter how extraordinary and improbable it is.

“… look for hope in a realistic way, and choose to lean in to it – but let it be part of the larger whole. You need not avoid the grief and distress that go along with the big picture. In fact, hope – or light – can be that much more exquisite and meaningful when it comes with full acknowledgment that darkness exists, too..”

~Dr. Andrea Bonlor PhD

Ultimately, we have control over the way we choose to believe. Whether we choose to have faith, hope, or believe in miracles even – or we choose not to believe in any of these. The belief or non-belief in and of itself seems to have a direct correlation to our actions. Since beliefs affect our behaviors, we have to step up and take responsibility for them. It is imperative to examine claims from all sides. It is imperative to examine claims from several different perspectives. It is imperative to be able to think on our own steed, and form our own conclusions based on our intuition and what we know to be true rather than simply accepting the opinions or forced beliefs of others. It is also imperative to be able to wrap our minds around the fact that not all things have an explanation. Not all things can be proven by Science. We are responsible for our beliefs because they are the consequences of things over which we do have control (for example paying attention to our prejudices, biases, or whether we choose to be open minded and curious; whether we choose to be religious or spiritual). Yet we have no control over the outcome or end result of a specific action or non-action because the Laws of the Universe often defy this.

These times that we live in they are uncertain. In a moment life can change. Everything we knew to be true can be catapulted and often is an immersive experience when thrust into unexpected life altering events. During these times, it is difficult to feel hopeful. There are plenty of studies to show that having hope for the future helps build our resilience – that ability to get through the seemingly impossible and recover more quickly. Hope can reduce stress, reduce anxiety, trauma, and depression. According to the “hope theory” formulated by positive psychologist Charles Snyder and his colleagues, hope gives people the will, determination, and sense of empowerment that allows them to reach their goals. Hope encourages emotional ownership. Hope reminds us of what we are working for or towards. Hope holds space and optimism for the future, keeps us committed to self-care, and ironically is science based. Let me explain. When a person has hope, it releases endorphins in the body and lowers stress levels. This increases mood, improves behaviors, and makes us more productive, even if the end goal or result seems illogical. Now hope is not the same as wishing either though. There is a profound difference between hoping and wishing. Wishing encourages passivity, whereas hope represents an active stance and actually taking action in a specific direction.

If I am focusing on a specific direction, a specific outcome, a desired result and I have hope, can I also have faith without being religious? I believe that we can. A lot of people are fed up with all the negative connotations and bad actions within various religious belief systems, churches, etc. yet they believe in a creator that is infinite and overall cannot be comprehended by anyone. After all, the human mind cannot quite seem to comprehend the infinite, which is why most people find it difficult to accept miracles as a possibility. While we may know, as a species, as people the meaning of infinite or vast….comprehending it is not something we have mastered. Not even with Science.

“Hope is a match in a dark tunnel, a moment of light,

just enough to reveal the path ahead and ultimately the way out.”

~ Dr. Judith Rich

Personally, I believe in God. I believe in the omnipotent power of the Universe. In a power or divine greater than myself. I believe in the Creator, even though I cannot fathom the form of the creator except that the creator is in the molecules and DNA of all things animated and inanimate. I believe that to be a Christian is to be “Christ-like” and that to be “Christ-like” means to embody that which is lovely, pure, and of good rapport. I believe that to be “Christ-like” means to treat others like you want to be treated. It means to be selfless, humble, confident, giving, charitable, and tolerant. I believe that embracing this form of belief is a culmination into one simple yet powerful word – FAITH. Yet I also believe that one can have Faith and not embrace any of these beliefs.

I can say with pure conviction that I would not have survived all that I have this far into my life without a strong connection to my Faith and a deep Spiritual Connection with something greater than myself. I can say that throughout the recovery process after the wreck I was in, there are times – when it feels – that all I have that is consistent, is my Spiritual self, and my every present life clinging grasp, onto HOPE.

I am not without humility when it comes to the fragility of life in general. I am truly in awe of the miraculous events, too numerous to be coincidental, involving that wreck and all of the circumstances in my life since. I truly believe that there were angel wings wrapped around my son that day. It is the only explanation for his survival….the only explanation for my survival. My continued courage to overcome seemingly insurmountable difficulties, medical and otherwise have only been conceivable due to my connection to God and the abiding Faith that I embrace. This propels me and gives me strength to never give up HOPE. I am not religious by any means. You may or may not have a tie to faith, hope, or miracles in your own life and your own experience. Yet I challenge you to keep an open mind and not to get bogged down on the things you cannot explain or prove. Sometimes you just have to know, to trust, and to make the best decisions you can. I also wholeheartedly believe in, support, and have a great and deep love for Science. Yet despite the laws of physics and all that comes with that line of thought, I am still faced with the unseen power of the topic of this writing.

There is indeed a correlation between faith and hope. There are indeed miracles that can happen as it relates to hope and faith and the belief that you give energy and power to.

Have FAITH. Never give up HOPE.

With FAITH comes HOPE.

Where there is HOPE there is FAITH.

Where there is FAITH. MIRACLES happen.

I AM LIVING PROOF OF THAT!!!

Works Cited

“Faith Definition & Meaning.” Merriam-Webster, Merriam-Webster, 2022, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/faith.

“Hope Definition & Meaning.” Merriam-Webster, Merriam-Webster, 2022, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hope.

Scott, Steve. “Spirituality vs Religion: 3 Big Differences between Each.” Happier Human, 21 Jan. 2022, https://www.happierhuman.com/difference-religion-spirituality/.

Haidt, Jonathan. “Moral Psychology Must Not Be Based on Faith and Hope: Commentary on Narvaez (2010).” JSTOR, Sage Publications, Inc. on Behalf of Association for Psychological Science, Mar. 2010, https://www-jstor- org.grcc.idm.oclc.org/stable/41613323?pq-origsite=summon#metadata_info_tab_contents. Perspectives on psychological science

Editor, Hope Grows. “Why Is Hope so Important?: Understand the Deeper Meaning of Hope.” Hope Grows, Hopegrows.net, 2 June 2022, https://hopegrows.net/news/why-is-hope-so- important.

Cline, Austin. “What’s the Difference between Religion and Spirituality?” Learn Religions, Learn Religions, 25 June 2019, https://www.learnreligions.com/religion-vs-spirituality- whats-the-difference-250713.

Howard-Snyder, Daniel, and Daniel J McKaughan. “Faith and Resilience.” Springer.com, International Journal for Philosophy of Religion (2022) 91:205–241, 8 Jan. 2022, https://link.springer.com/content/pdf/10.1007/s11153-021-09820-z.pdf.

Kincaid, Shannon, and Philip Pecorino. “Philosophy of Religion.” The Interrelation of Faith and Hope, Queensborough Community College – The City University of New York, 2005, https://www.qcc.cuny.edu/socialsciences/ppecorino/phil_of_religion_text/chapter_10_defi nition/Faith-Hope.htm.

Broussard, Karlo. “Is It Reasonable to Believe in Miracles?” Strange Notions, 24 Feb. 2016, https://strangenotions.com/is-it-reasonable-to-believe-in-miracles/.

S;, Griggs. “Hope and Mental Health in Young Adult College Students: An Integrative Review.” Journal of Psychosocial Nursing and Mental Health Services, U.S. National Library of Medicine, 1 Feb. 2017, https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28218927/.

Robinson, Caren. “Hope Tbi.” Having Faith, HOPE TBI, 28 Apr. 2022, https://hopetbi.com/2022/04/28/having-faith/.

Blake, Sharon. “Hope vs Faith or Faith and Hope.” HuffPost, HuffPost, 7 Dec. 2017, https://www.huffpost.com/entry/hope-vs-faith-or-faith-an_b_8907892.

Murthy, Vivek H. “A SEASON OF HOPE, A SEASON OF ACTION: ADDRESSING MENTAL HEALTH THROUGH FAITH COMMUNITIES.” JSTOR, Sage Publications

Inc. Public Health Reports (1974-) Vol. 130, No. 6 (NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2015), Pp.

560-561 (2 Pages), 2015, https://www.jstor.org/stable/43776220.

Brady, Adam. “Religion vs. Spirituality: The Difference between Them.” Chopra, 4 Aug. 2020, https://chopra.com/articles/religion-vs-spirituality-the-difference-between-them.

Emoha. “What Is the Difference between Religion and Spirituality?” Emoha Blogs, Emoha – Elders First, 22 June 2022, https://emoha.com/blogs/learn/what-is-the-difference-between- religion-and-spirituality.

Bishop, John, and Daniel J. McKaughan. “Faith.” Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, Stanford University, 15 July 2022, https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/faith/.

Ng, Nathan. “Spirituality and Theology a Review and Perspective of Their Relationship.” Sage Journals, Volume 4 Issue 818, Mar. 2001, https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0040571X0110400205?journalCode=tjxa.

Wong, Kenneth. “10 Differences between Religion vs Spirituality.” The Millennial Grind, Amazon Services LLC Associate Program, 5 July 2021, https://millennial-grind.com/10- differences-between-religion-vs-spirituality/.

Having Faith

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FAITH is stepping on the “seeming void” and finding the rock beneath.  

                                                                         With FAITH comes HOPE. 

Where there is HOPE there is FAITH. 

                                                         Where there is FAITH.  

MIRACLES happen.

I can say with pure conviction that I would not have survived all that I have this far into my life without a strong connection to my Faith and my deep Spiritual Connection. I can say that throughout this recovery process, there are times when it feels that all I have that is consistent is my Spiritual self and my every present, life clinging grasp onto HOPE.

I am not without humility when it comes to the fragility of life in general.  I am truly in awe of the miraculous events, too numerous to be coincidental, involving the wreck I was in and all of the circumstances in my life since.  There were angel wings wrapped around my son that day.  It is the only explanation for his survival….the only explanation for my survival.  My continued courage to overcome seemingly insurmountable difficulties, medical and otherwise have only been conceivable due to my connection to God and the abiding Faith that I embrace.  This propels me and gives me strength to never give up HOPE.

“Can’t” is not in my vocabulary as a general rule.  I have never been that type of person to accept “can’t” as an acceptable answer.  I feel this limits the education and growth of ourselves as individuals, professionals, spouses, family, parents, and friends. If at all possible, rid this word from your life. Instead replace it with “can attempt” “can make effort to” “can do it” “can accomplish” “can change my thinking about” and any other word or phrase that includes your ability to put forth the effort in living the opposite of “can’t”.

One of my favorite verses is Phillipians 4:13  “I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me”.  This has fueled me for years.

I lived through this wreck for a reason.  I was meant to survive.  There is a plan, a special plan for my life.  My life matters. I truly believe this. I am not here to merely exist without offering some meaningful contribution to my family and the world.  I have been led to serve others my whole life.  I have enjoyed this life of service immensely.  I am grateful for the blessing that I have been given to continue my life’s journey. Sometimes, I am not sure why I was CHOSEN to live, while others with far less injuries have died – but I will not waste this time.  It is precious, and every moment counts! 

My dad used to say that many are “LED” but few are “CHOSEN”.  I never understood that very much as a child, however, I feel I am getting a better grasp on this as an adult – especially as one who continues to survive from a Catastrophic and Life changing event (but then aren’t all life events life changing?)

I find myself led to continue to write about, speak about, and educate about my Trauma, my Survival, my Rehabilitation, and Self-Advocacy –  so that others may perhaps find something useful from my experiences and I have a written expression of healing. I am enormously grateful to my mother for starting a blog for me in the beginning, and for being a testament for my life.  The timeline of events that she has written about has been very helpful to me as well and helped me fill in a lot of blanks for things I just do not remember.  I love seeing her posts and hearing her words like a warm blanket of protection.  How she knows how to say just the right things still amazes me.  I hope, in the end, that my kids love me as much as I love her; as much as she has helped me to continue to love myself.  She is amazing. 

I am blessed with a selfless and loving husband as well.  He has sacrificed much for me.  He makes me feel beautiful and shines light in my life, even in the darkest of nights. Not only did God Choose me, but so did he.  My love for him is unyielding and he is simply the best man I have ever known in my entire life (before and now). He is beyond amazing and I am truly fortunate to know such love.

My HOPE is that I continue to evolve professionally and personally. My HOPE is to continue to be led to the proper medical care,  and interventions to help me further my life as a functional, active, evolving, spiritual and passionate human being. My HOPE is that my family is continually blessed with support and strength to endeavor this journey with me.  It has not been easy on them either.

I realize I will never be the same Caren I was before the wreck.  That much is abundantly clear. The “new normal” I embrace I am still getting to know…….even years later. From being bent and literally broken, to a process of healing that incorporated plates, screws, nails, modern day technology and a sheer will to survive. I have been able to find value in the life I have been gifted to live. I am not perfect, I am far from it. There are struggles that still challenge the fabric of my existence. There are challenges and fears I still face. Sometimes, on a daily basis. However, I am grateful for the opportunity to face them and continue becoming the best version of myself possible.

We are allowed to be a masterpiece and a work in progress. I am a work in progress, my life is my masterpiece, and I am not giving up on ME.  Your life, your story, your experience, your sheer grit to survive is your masterpiece. I see you. You are not invisible. Don’t give up on you.

If you are reading this, thank you for being here at this moment.  Please don’t give up on me either.  With your help, your ongoing support, your presence, your intercession, your skills, your energy – real or virtual, all things are possible.

Have FAITH.  Never give up HOPE.

                            With FAITH comes HOPE. 

Where there is HOPE there is FAITH. 

Where there is FAITH.  MIRACLES happen.

I AM LIVING PROOF OF THAT!!!