Angie and Jesse were a couple with 3 children. Then the unthinkable happened….
In honor of Brain Injury Awareness Month. Check out the story of young love and how it changes in an instant.
Valentine’s Day has become very commercialized over the years. There seems to be a lot of social pressure to purchase things for those that you love. Pressure to “go out and do something together”. Pressure to “prove” your love with the largest gift, card, or elaborate reservation. Sometime’s though, for some folks, Valentine’s day is just another day, not different from any other.
However, if you are one of the folks who celebrates this day; one of the ones who gets all twitterpated when you think of what you can do for that special someone or group then this is an exciting day for you. There are things you can do though, to do something special without all the “fuss”. Your brain injury survivor you may or may not be interested in the social congestion and crowds that can fill the stores, restaurants, and traffic. This holiday can also bring a sense of loneliness, isolation, depression, and melancholy for those who are unable to participate the way they would like to, or with who they would like to. So sometimes just remembering someone can lift their spirits.
Valentine’s Day can be a magical time for couples who do celebrate this day, or even those we care deeply about – even those who we are not in a romantic relationship with. This day has become a day that we are reminded to celebrate love, passion, and belonging.
Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity for you to take the time to show that brain survivor person you know some affection, friendliness, and that you care for and value who they are as a person…..even if they are now a different person than they used to be.
If you are a solo flyer and have noone to celebrate, consider celebrating yourself and loving yourself for all that you are, all that you have been, and all that you are becoming. Self care is just as important, if not moreso than the care we give someone else.
Some economical ideas that won’t break the bank and add a personal touch to the day are as follows:
Valentine’s Day is rich with historical developments over the years. There is really no wrong way to celebrate it. It’s also okay if you don’t celebrate it. However, for those that do – make it fun, make it safe, and think outside the box when working to do something special for your brain injured “Valentine”.
You may notice some changes happening to our Website. We are pleased to announce new pages coming to fruition and current pages receiving updates. So even if you have read a page before, check back for continual updates every once in a while. Also, you can check the Blog for announcements of updates as well.
Our current page updates for 2019 thus far, include:
We welcome information, articles, stories, and topic ideas for our website. We also welcome guest authors for a Blog post as well.
You can reach us at our CONTACT PAGE for more information. Please also let us know of any broken links you may come across. All work on this website and blog is done as a gift of love and is provided free of charge to the public domain.
Elephant In The Room:
~ An English-language metaphorical idiom for an obvious problem. difficult situation/decision, or risk no one wants to discuss, or a condition no one wants to challenge. An unpleasant experience. question, problem, solution, or controversial issue which is obvious to everyone who knows about the issue, but which is deliberately ignored because to do otherwise would cause great embarrassment, sadness, arguments, or is simply taboo. ~
What is YOUR “elephant in the room”?
Is it an invisible injury or illness? Have you been diagnosed with a Traumatic Brain Injury?
Is it a Polytrauma you are recovering from?
Is it chronic pain?
Is it Survivor guilt?
Is it lack of sexual libido or change in your sexuality since your injury/illness?
Is it your inability to describe to others what you are going through or have gone through?
Is it the coping skills that you must use and choose to tell noone about?
Is it your bravery, your sheepishness, your courage, your fears?
Is it pride in how much you have acccomplished? How far you have come?
Is it depression, anxiety, or disappointment in your lack of progress?
Is it lack of confidence? Is it overthinking and overconfidence?
Is it your inability to return to the same type of work you used to do?
Is it your desire to return to work, yet unsure of what that picture looks like for you?
Is it caregiver burnout?
Is it provider fatigue?
Is it a source of deep grief, sense of loss, or mourning?
Is it something that you have put in your past and no longer wish to speak about?
Is it something you want to speak about, yet others are ready to move on and not speak about it?
Talking about the things that are bothering you can help clarify them and put them in perspective. In never addressing the “elephant in the room” a general uneasiness, sense of frustration, stagnation, loneliness, and untrustworthy environment can breed a life of havoc and confusion. Break your silence and be blunt in a productive manner. Perhaps even seeking out a therapist to assist you with working through some of the adjustments would be advantageous for you.
Avoiding an issue causes more harm than good….always. When discussing an issue, it is imperative to remain as calm as possible. Using anger or yelling to communicate can absolutely make things less constructive – especially if you are having trouble finding the words to say and the best way to deliver them. Being objective can be super tough. However, it can be helpful if you make a list of facts. Now, when I say facts. I am not speaking about how you feel, how you think, or what your assumptions are. I am talking about facts that you can prove with empirical evidence, historical evidence, and a paper trail.
Keep in mind when talking about that “elephant in the room” that sometimes the very people who need to hear the topic being talked about are the least receptive to hearing it. That often means that person might even be you. Being receptive to talk is important. It is equally as important to actively listen. Support from others that share the same or differing opinions about the issues you wish to speak about will make it not about you, but about the issue and how much it impacts others who have gone through the same thing, or are currently experiencing the same challenges. Support groups (even if they are online) can be an amazing source of support, ideas, and encouragement.
A resolution or plan is something that is accomplished over time. Open communication without apathy, fear, or hopelessness is an integral part of finding what works best for you. Keep an open mind and be willing to have multiple conversations about that “elephant in the room”.
Taking that challenge which is deliberately ignored and opening up a dialogue about it, changing whatever it is that is holding you back from being your best self. This is how to make progress, step outside your comfort zones, and switch an unspoken taboo topic into a healing process.
Those recovering from injuries or trauma are often mired by numerous appointments, sorting through providers who may or may not know how to deal with their injuries, symptoms, or chronic pain.
Those recovering, while blessed to have survived are also overwhelmed with new “normals”, new limitations, new or ongoing financial devastation since their injuries, and also new opportunities for growth. Those recovering have lost friends, colleagues, and family members who couldn’t “handle it”, “understand”, or who simply just kept moving on with their lives while the one recovering was caught in a time warp of change and foreign experiences.
You have been through a lot this year and I hope it ends with a smile on your face. I hope that happiness is able to fill your heart and life more often in the coming year. Love and time is a great healer. I encourage you to be gentle and kind to yourself and those who strive to help you out, no matter how small the acts of kindness you receive are.
Slow down a bit and work on not overthinking. Find time to rest your body and your mind. Healing comes with rest and time. Healing also comes from pushing forward and keeping the body and mind moving. The key is learning to set personal limits, boundaries, and pacing yourself.
Set a goal. It doesn’t matter if it is a small goal or a larger more challenging goal. Take small steps towards your goal. Each step is one step closer to achieving the end result, whatever that may be for you. Share yourself with others.
Never give up HOPE and belief in the greater good. Allow yourself to see the light despite all of the darkness.
Someone, somewhere, is sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree. Pay it forward by planting one small kindness at a time, and help cast the shadow of your fears and limitations behind you.
I wish you enough. Enough love. Enough pain relief. Enough progress. Enough happiness. Enough joy. Enough progress. Enough life. Enough of all that you need in the New Year.
Happy New Year!!!